Help for distraught parents

Taken from their beds in the middle of the night

By Isabelle Zehnder
June 16, 2007
© 2007


Many parents today are placing their children and teens into programs and facilities away from home. Some are having them transported there by child/teen transport companies. Both the teen transport industry and the child/teen help industry are largely unregulated. There is no entity governing what they do and there is virtually no governmental oversight meaning they can do pretty much what they want with children - and they do. As a result lawsuits have been filed against these programs that abuse our youth.

Some transport companies arrange to pick the child or teen up in the middle of the night. Two strangers enter the kid's bedroom without their knowledge or consent and force them to get dressed. Some kids have reported they were forced to use the bathroom in front of complete strangers. Some companies forbid the parents to come into the kid's room so the child or teen is left feeling he or she is being abducted. At times it isn't until they are in the car and on their way that the transport company tells the child they were hired by his or her parents. Reports indicate some use handcuffs and/or pepper spray. These companies are transporting children and teens to facilities and programs hundreds and thousands of miles from home, sometimes outside the US. Some of these programs are known to be abusive. Some have reported being scarred for life as a result.

A lawsuit was filed in August 2006. The Complaint lists hideous forms of abuse, neglect, fraud, to name a few. There are 82 plaintiffs. Some might believe the allegations are too far-fetched to have ever really happened. We have recently been told that WWASPS tells parents the information advocates are sharing on the Internet are all lies, they are all exaggerations, and that there is no way these things could have happened. But 82 people are saying these things did happen, and it is my understanding that 40-60 or more people will be joining in the lawsuit. This is not the only lawsuit that has been filed against WWASPS - there are more.

Personally, I believe the kids, parents, and staff who have shared their stories with me and with others. Stories that include allegations I have seen on the Complaint. Ironically, many of these kids and parents have never met and have never spoken with one another yet their stories are so similar it’s chilling.

Some people wonder why I bother. Why don’t I just give up and realize there are parents who really don’t care about their kids, parents who really just want to relinquish their responsibility to others and who give up on their kids? The reason is I’ve talked to so many parents who I believe do care, who do love their children, parents who truly were duped and had no idea what they were stepping into. I’m sure there are a small number of parents who want this type of treatment for their kids, but I cannot believe many parents exist who would want their kids abused and maltreated. I believe many fell into a trap and they need people like me to let them know this trap exists.

Why are parents sending their children and teens away?

Parents send their children and teens to programs and facilities for a variety of reasons. Some come from blended families that aren't blending so well - some children and teens are using and/or abusing drugs and alcohol. Some have slipping grades, are running away from home, have eating disorders, are cutting their bodies, are Bipolar, have ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), etc. Some parents are simply looking for a positive experience for their teen before they head off to college. We've even heard from families who admitted they were exhausted and couldn't deal with the daily challenges of raising a teen so they hired someone else to do the job for them.

There have always been families who have sent their children away to be raised by others. In the past there were boarding schools and military academies. Many children had good experiences, many did not. There has always been abuse in institutionalized settings for youth and for the elderly. Today is no different.

But today it is even more troubling for our youth because there are people preying on desperate parents, selling one thing but delivering something altogether different. Once parents make the decision to send their child away many turn to the Internet for help. The search can be daunting and confusing and can leave parents vulnerable to those who are waiting by the phone, their toll-free numbers plastered all over the Internet for unsuspecting parents to find.

There are therapeutic boarding schools, residential treatment centers, behavior modification programs, positive peer culture programs, wilderness programs, boot camps, Christian programs, weight loss schools, ADHD schools, substance abuse programs, short-term programs, long-term programs, schools for boys, schools for girls, equestrian programs, specialty boarding schools.

What do all of these have in common? They are all a part of a huge, growing, multi-billion dollar industry housing children and teens. What is disturbing is that there are no laws overlooking this industry. There is no Federal oversight and there are no regulations. There are a few states that now mandate licensure, but we have seen a lack of oversight or follow-through when allegations of abuse, neglect, and deaths occur. When situations have occurred we have repeatedly heard that program owners, "deny all allegations of abuse."

These slick marketing agents have been known to convince parents to do things they would otherwise never even consider doing. Like placing their child or teen into an environment they never even visited or researched, hiring complete strangers to pick their children up in the middle of the night, out of their beds, without pre-warning.

Parents are convinced by these agents that if they tell their child what is about to happen the child will run away. They don’t consider the possibility that the child might want to seek help and that not all children are prone to running away from it - that some teens actually would like to be included in the decision-making process of where they will spend the next year or two of their life.

If the teen were included in the decision- making process, if the parents did more research and checked out all other options first, perhaps they could work as a team to find the solutions they so desperately need for their family.

Sometimes the issues could be resolved at home and there would not even be a need to be sent away. If you are a parent in this situation, visit www.positivefamilysolutions.com for a different approach – you might be surprised at what you, and your teen, learn.